but I don't only want to see the world in black and white, she said. I want to see the world in colors - its everything and its all. 

but what happened to that, to those hazy days of drunken happiness, those times we toasted to the autumn leaves just before we sleep? you say I escape my problems but where were you when I tried to explain? where were you when I was wrought by pain? but this time I'll apologize. this time it's my fault.

sorry for losing it all. sorry for being so discreet. 

sorry for claiming an artist's mind, a mind devoid of logic, a mind that is so wound by emotions that at times it goes delusional, leaving its owner to dream of happier lands, to slowly laugh into pieces, fall into disarray, into the wrong end of the disheveled kaleidoscope. sorry I'm an unsolvable puzzle.

sorry this is who I am.