the perks of singledom

for all ya single ladies/gentlemen out there, i want to say, you’re the lucky ones. and, stop worrying.

1. you can go on dates. with anyone.

what! from someone who was single throughout high school this came as a surprise to me. i thought if i haven’t dated then i wasn’t “date-able”. 

and then i realized, wait, i’m date-able? everyone’s date-able?

when you’re single, you don’t need to cling yourself onto any one one guy or create your so-called “destiny” with him. see that cute guy in math class? go talk to him and then maybe even ask him out. same goes for parties. 

this isn’t high school. people will still judge you but at least if it really does get too awkward, you can just leave and pretend he never existed because the likelihood of running into him is probably pretty low (unless you go to a liberal arts school..).

2. you can take full advantage of college, which means taking a lotta risks, figuring out who you are, and making memories with a lotta people

a relationship takes up a lotta time, especially if you’ve progressed to a deeper level. in my case, that meant practically having no friends other than my bf. i basically ignored my friends and thought well, he’s my soul mate and we’re happy and comfortable together, why not just spend all our time together. wrong!

college is not just about grades and discovering yourself; it’s also about making connections. being really close with one person is great but there will be no other time in your life when you’re surrounded by such great intellectuals that you live in close vicinity to. have you ever heard that living closer also builds relationships? yeah.

i missed out on that. i don’t think my past roommate knows i have this blog, but i basically ignored her for a few months because it was too awkward and i brought my bf over and she didn't like guys over (and other complications).

point is, i really missed out on some key opportunities to make great friends. when you're single, you can also join five clubs and party every week and no one will stop you. what freedom! your gf/bf won’t say “wtf” and get pissed, which leads me to my third point.

3. less drama. (or at least stress).

i actually don’t know how much drama there exists for singles. from my single friends, i do know that dating is tiring, but a relationship can also be stress overload. it can almost feel constraining, like you’re really pulled back from doing anything else. dealing with one person is holy difficult, especially after you live together, things can get really complicated when both parties are trying to be nice and loving but also trudging through difficulties.

when i started dating, i got the lowest GPA i’ve ever gotten in my life while sleeping on average 5h/night. yeah. do me a favor and don’t get fucked up like this. or at least if you do, enjoy it. 

4. you can actually dress up for a purpose.

after you reach the "comfort" stage in a relationship, you don't dress to impress anymore. i didn’t have any reason to dress up so i just walked around school looking like shit.

and then i realized, being in a relationship doesn't mean i'm good already.

5. being single gets you ready for the “real world” AKA work life.

first, being in a relationship is often comfortable. it’s familiarity. it’s knowing that at the end of the day, there will still be one person there always waiting for you, always ready to give you a big hug.

except that’s not a healthy relationship.

college is about taking risks, it’s about challenging yourself so you can learn to work well under a high-stress environment. and i lacked that practice.

any time i was stressed,  my bf would be there to hug me, then i’d be fine. and then if i failed at something and started tearing up for whatever fucking reason, he would just say “it’s okay, come hug.” which is nice of course.

it’s great, except that in life you won’t always have that. when your future boss cracks down on you and broadcasts how shit you are in front of everyone else, there will be no one there to lean on, except yourself.

and even when you’re in a relationship and start working, you prolly can’t see your gf/bf all the time, or not even everyday. my coworkers only meet theirs once or twice during weekends.

so don’t get yourself into that rut, please.

6. and lastly, you get more “me” time.

you get more time to do what you want. spend it with your friends, family, yourself, yourself. get to know who you are and get engaged in the hobbies you really like.

do well in school and your side projects and your hobbies. do well in life. build yourself, and be happy.

that’s not to downplay the pros of being in a relationship. i just think we tend to categorize single as “bad” too often when there are still many pros to it.

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