how i feel after deleting my social media apps

I am almost twelve hours in and I have some very strong urges. Strong urges to re-download all my social media apps. 

What’s going on on Snapchat? Have my friends replied me? Has anyone messaged me on Facebook? Where are all my friends? Etc. 

But I have resisted the urge to do so. I want to be better. I told myself I’d be better. Snapchat just makes me more jealous. I saw one of my high school friends take a selfie with a guy she likes. I’m happy for her but do you know how hard it struck me. Social media makes people seem like they got everything going perfectly in their lives. And you can guess how I felt when I saw that at a low point, after all my rejections...

Anyways, I love art but I even deleted Instagram. All out. No Snaps, no Facebook, no Messenger. If I want to talk to someone, I can use Wechat or Messages. If I want to scroll through Facebook, I can only do so on my laptop, which isn’t as alluring for some reason. No more need to check notifications. 

It’s over. I’m done. I’m over it all. Fuck it all.